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Tis Friday and once again Ms Rochelle has set us a challenge of coming up with a 100 word story to fit the picture below. The image is courtesy of Rich Voza (nice one Rich), you’ll remember him from his Thursday Throng author interview last month. It’s his copyright so play fair and if you’d like to know more about how to get involved, well just haul yourself over to Ms Rochelle’s website and join in the fun.

Flight

Stepping out, she felt the warmth. It was late but the heat hadn’t yet dissipated and she gasped at its intensity.

Turning, she grasped Charlieโ€™s hand. “Let’s go and find daddy shall we”.

Charlie looked up, trusting she knew what to do.

Passports flashed, cases retrieved and all too soon they were in the arrivals hall.

“Daddy, daddy”. Charlie shot off towards a tall, dark haired man who bent low to pick him up and swing him round.

“How ya doin buddy?” He turned to her, “Thank you for escorting him Ms Jones”.

She turned away, her job was done.

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If youโ€™re interested, you can find all my fiction pieces on my blog here: Fiction Central and Friday Fictioneers. You can get involved by visiting Rochelle the All Knowing and Lovely at: rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/

You can find more Friday Fictioneers pieces for this photograph by clicking the link below:



Linda Parkinson-Hardman

Social Entrepreneur and Founder of the Hysterectomy Association; Social Media Strategist at Internet Mentor; Speaker; Writer and Author of Eight Books; Blogger at http://womanontheedgeofreality.com and all round diva. Phew what a lot for a Thursday afternoon :-)

You can find out more about me (and perhaps connect) at http://www.linkedin.com/in/lindaph

This Post Has 36 Comments

  1. Dear Linda,

    This was an imaginative take on the prompt and an insight into the neccessities of travel these days. Did this bubble up from past experience or from your creative mind alone?

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. That was a different take on the prompt. The people who look after minors on long haul flights are often overlooked in the joys of reunification. Nice one.

  3. I enjoyed this different POV. And the first couple of sentences capture completely the first time you arrive Florida/ Bangkok etc. Warm and humid at night – weird for someone from the UK.

  4. NOt sure what was happening here, but it sure has major possibilities. I was expecting his wife to be with the son, but apparently not. Mrs. Jones? Great hook.

  5. it left me wondering if ms jones was underappreciated, as if a “thanks” just wasn’t enough. also wondering if ms jones might have thoughts about something more than just helping with the child. i felt an extra longing that perhaps he wasn’t aware of.

    also, this line: Stepping out the warmth hit her. It was late but the heat hadnโ€™t yet dissipated and she gasped at its intensity.

    i think there are a couple of commas needed, something with a pause. like: “Stepping out(,) the warmth hit her.” however, this may also be a misplaced modifier because this states that “the warmth” is what was stepping out. really, she was stepping out. so it should be more like, “Stepping out, she felt the warmth.” or “She stepped into the warmth.”

    also, there should be a comma after “late” here: It was late(,) but the heat…

    1. Thanks Mr Rich – I did intend to take it somewhere else but it sorted of gravitated towards it’s end instead. Perhaps there is potential for something longer. Thanks for the feedback, commas are never a strong point ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. more mistakes are made with commas than anything else. read a short story in “the new yorker” yesterday with some really poor comma use. drives me crazy that such a magazine can’t get that right.

      2. I know what you mean. I tend to either have too many, with overly long sentence structures, or too few and run all the words together. I shall modify my little story though ๐Ÿ™‚

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