Once upon a time there was a distant land which contained within it a vast and glorious kingdom called t’Internet. Now the kingdom of t’Internet had many residents who had all worked hard to attain their home in this place that was abundant and fertile to all, many more wanted to gain their status but had yet to be granted entry. Now, the kingdom of t’Internet was ruled over by a just a wise king who was called King Alta Vista and his reign was considered the enlightened for he had vast and powerful machines which helped to ensure the crops fed all the residents as well as their visitors.
These machines of King Alta Vista’s were located in the basement of his castle and were a wonder to behold; they were bright and shiny and made of precious metals; they had cogs and wheels to help regulate the information the King Alta Vista was looking for. And it was made so that all visitors who wished to do business with residents of the Kingdom of t’Internet were required to first call upon King Alta Vista who would welcome them grandly and then set about providing the information as to the whereabouts of the resident they were seeking.
But many from outside the kingdom were jealous of the lush fields and sparkling waters that all residents had access to and they were covetous of the power that King Alta Vista wielded and so they plotted and planned to take over his kingdom and make it his own.
By stealth they crept into the kingdom and built their own castle and in it’s basement they created even bigger and more wondrous machines with which to answer visitors questions. And lo, it came to pass that King Alta Vista was required to challenge the usurper, Prince Yahoo!, to a battle to the death to protect his kingdom and his people from the usurpers influences.
When the day came for the duel though King Alta Vista was tired and old and he was unable to deliver the final death blow in the battle, preferring to show clemency to the valiant Prince who had fought so well. They met and agreed that they would share power and that when the time came King Alta Vista would hand his kingdom over into the young Prince’s care.
For long years the pair ruled the kingdom of t’Internet together wisely, each providing answers to the visitors that came looking for residents who could help them. But slowly, the machines that powered King Alta Vista’s castle grew old and rusty and were no longer able to function as well as they had once done so and the King took the decision to move his court into the Castle of Prince Yahoo! and name him his successor.
Long years passed and they were bountiful for all who lived within the Kingdom of t’Internet. Visitors flocked to the Kingdom in their thousands to be given the answers to all the questions they had ever had by the residents that lived within and each visitor was granted an audience with the new King Yahoo! who would graciously accede to their request as quickly as he was able to and provide them with the necessary directions to whichever inhabitant they sought.
As word of the Kingdom grew, King Yahoo! was required to call upon long lost relatives to help him in the task he had set himself of greeting each and every visitor individually and the sons and daughters of neighbouring kingdoms were sent to provide succour and support.
It so happened that one of the sons that was sent to help King Yahoo! became jealous of the power that was now wielded by King Yahoo! and they were desirous of gathering all of the bounty of the Kingdom of t’Internet into their own hands. They plotted and schemed and built their own secret castle far beyond the gaze of King Yahoo! And within it’s basement they built even bigger and brighter and faster machines that could help visitors far more quickly. And slowly they persuaded visitors to come and seek them out before their audience with King Yahoo!
When the old King found out about their treachery he was furious and deeply hurt that someone he had treasured, nurtured and supported for so long had caused pain behind his back that he lashed out and called for a duel; but as King Alta Vista had found before him, the young pretender had more strength and won the battle easily calling out his victory across all the Kingdom of t’Internet.
And the young pretender was called Lord Google and he now required all the residents of the Kingdom to bow down before him and worship. Strict rules were created and all residents were required to adhere to them and to pay the taxes that now became due. No visitor was allowed to cross the border of the Kingdom of t’Internet without Lord Google knowing who they were and where they had come from. The penalty to residents who failed to obey the rules was banishment from the Kingdom at best and death at worst. So, it came to pass that all bowed down and submitted to the rule of Lord Google.