This isn’t very PC I know, but ….. it made me smile at the back end of very, very, very long day!
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
‘Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?’
When Mary Margaret didn’t stir, little Johnny, who was her friend
sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
‘God Almighty!’ shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, ‘Very good’ and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, ‘Who is our Lord and
But Mary didn’t stir from her slumber. Once again Johnny came to her
rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt with the pencil.
‘Jesus Christ!!!’ shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,
‘Very good,’ and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question…’What did Eve say to Adam after
she had her twenty-third child?’
Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, ‘If you stick that
f***#@^ thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!’
And ….. for the women amongst us:-
- BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF
- A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG… YOU DON’T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER
- I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER
- COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH
- I’M OUT OF OESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN
- WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT
- OF COURSE I DON’T LOOK BUSY… I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME
- DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN!
- ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE
And last but not least:
- IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
‘Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply.
If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So – if you give her any crap, you can expect a ton of shit.’